This is not a very usual post, not even directly connected to fashion, but somehow I had the feeling of writing it since I know you guys can give an amazing advice. Now the thing is that for a while now, I'd say a good 6 months, I've been really stuck in my mind when it comes to education, my current studies and the future. With me and Rauno having many plans, having the life gone better after moving away and starting to find myself again, starting to see what I like and what I love doing, I've started doubting in many things. Some of you might now that I finished high school with the highest grades and being the "smart girl with straight A-s" I was practically forced into going to university, studying some "real subject" - that meant everything outside university and conserning arts, was banned for me. Therefore I went to the University of Tartu, the best one in Estonia, and now I've finished first course of educational sciences. However, I'm not the girl of teoretic subjects, I'm the girl of dreams and creativity. I remember how my mother asked me very sadly/woefully: "Are you sure you won't go and study something artsy?" (hehe sorry mom) At that time I couldn't do it because my family (besides mom ofc, but she lives in Finland) would have killed me for not studying something "useful". All I wanted to do was move to Tartu and study at least something so the desicion was made - I moved away and family was pleased.
Now that I've studied there for a year, I've had the time to learn a few things about myself and I've come to a true battle. I don't want to continue studying educational sciences for many reasons - firstly, it's not really "me". Secondly, I haven't learned much with that year because I've always been good in psychology and that year has felt to me as a waste of time since I've already learned those things - yes, it was easy for me to get through this year with good grades, but is it really worth it to be there for 3 years, if it doesn't give me the feeling of actually gaining something useful? My family is thrilled about me studying to become a teacher and now they even want me to apply for a scholarship but I'm still in between and don't know if I want to continue. Fortunately, I have the freedom to quit it any time I'd like to.
I've always been an artsy girl - I've photographed for years, even though I've never had the chance to buy a decent camera. I've always been fond of drawing and I've spent many nights just sketching things. I can spend hours and hours, scrolling through art, fashion etc and finding inspiration - sometimes I get so carried away that I will try to make it right at that minute! My biggest dream has always been to have a boutique or work at a place where people create something beautiful every single day. Being in love with art is what got me into doing this blog - this is the place for me to show my creative freedom, share it with others and maybe someday inspire many people with it. That's my dream.
Waking up at 6am, going on a morning jog, drinking my coffee, running around in pyjamas and spending half of the day on sketching, sewing, designing .. then spending the other half in shooting pictures, meeting with other artsy-people, gathering inspiration and falling asleep happily of the feeling of successful day - that's what I like. Now in this world of materialism, it is very scary for me to leave that safe, boring subject and turn into the other part - going on some trainings of art and then after being a bit more educated, I would try to get in to Tartu's Art College and study design.
I guess it's the society's overall understanding that you are not worth something if you haven't been to college. Truth is, I've met people who haven't been to college at all and they are very successful because they have done what they love. Is it reasonable to continue the studies for just the diploma? Should I take the risk? What do you think? What would you do? Your opinion matters the world to me!
I hope you had the time to read all of this and you can share your thoughts with me <3
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Kuigi ma ei kirjuta eesti keeles tihti ning teie, mu kallite järgijate, seas ei ole ka palju eestlasi, siis ma siiralt loodan, et mõned siiski lugesid selle pika pika memuaari läbi ning teil tekkis mõtteid. Ma väga loodan, et kui nii on, siis te jagate oma mõtteid minuga ning annate kommentaarides mulle teada, mis teeksite teie selles olukorras! Tänan teid juba ette - teie arvamus on mulle ülimalt oluline <3
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